The preparations for today's interview began last night with me ironing, yes, ironing (shudder) my borrowed interview clothes and getting a reasonably early night. Normally I'm awake until anything between 2 and 4am, my brain refusing to stop the whirlwind of ideas and things to remember. However, unusually it complied with an early shutdown and I think I was asleep before 1am. Getting up at 8am this morning was a bit scary as I usually only see that time if I haven't been to bed yet and although I hate mornings in general I was determined this one would be awesome.
Time to tackle the checklist of problems my appearance presents to potential employers. First on the list, visible tattoos. The black trousers and long-sleeved shirt takes care of 99% of them. Unfortunately there's not much I can do about the one on my neck (except grow my hair long but that's gonna take a while) but it can be rendered "not that noticeable" with a carefully practiced routine of tilting my head away and making sure I am always presenting my left side to the person I am talking to. Check. Next on the list, the piercings. As a matter of principle I absolutely refuse to take my ear-rings out as any reference to the outdated "health and safety" laws are clearly laughable. You can't tell me my ear-rings are at risk of falling into food when you need pliers to remove them from my ear. Whilst I refuse to remove my ear-rings I will begrudgingly remove my lip piercing. I can slowly phase it in once I have established myself as an invaluable member of staff. Check. Last and not least, the hair. Who would have thought that shaving half your hair off would be an issue? Apparently so. I cleverly disguise my hairstyle with none other than... a hat. Yes folks a hat. I have been told on numerous occassions I suit it well and with the shirt and trousers I kind of fancied myself as rockin the "dapper" look. Or something. Anyway, check.
With my troublesome appearance thoroughly dealt with the next hurdle to contend with is Jeffrey. My last interview did not go so well and I don't want to go into details but lets just say Jeffrey caused a scene. I told him he couldnt come with me this time on account of his atrocious behaviour last time and he stomped his little feet and he huffed and he puffed and he threatened me with allsorts. In the end I had to let him come with me as he said if I didnt he'd burn my collage art book. Mental note to self get Jeffrey a new cage.
I toddle off to the bus stop and I'm almost there when I remember that I've left the scrap of paper with the name of the shop and the phone number in the house. Idiot. So as I have plenty of time I nip back and get it. Back to the bus stop just in time to catch the bus into the City - excellent! Feeling good. I meet a fellow Roadie on the bus and have a great time chatting until I am about 3 stops away from the city when it suddenly dawns on me that I have left the house without a copy of my resume. Yes. I have gone to an interview without a resume. Disaster. What kind of a moron goes to an interview without a resume? Me, apparently.
Quick time check. 9am. Interview is at 10. Options-
1) Phone housemate and ask him to bring you a copy.
2) Phone brother and ask him to bring you a copy.
3) Call friend in the city, ask her to print it and pick it up
4) Find an internet cafe and print it yourself
I decide to go with option 3. I phoned my friend but as it was 5 minutes past nine she has started work and is unavailable. OK, I have just under an hour that's loads of time let's go for option 4 with 1 or 2 as a back-up. Although I have lived in Adeliade for 6 months now I still have no idea where to find most things so I ask around various shops and get directions. I find the cafe but unfortunately it is closed and does not open until 10am. Dang. I run up Rundle Mall and pop into Lush because it smells awesome and makes me happy and I can ask directions as well. The lovely shop lady directs me to the corner of Hindley and Leigh Street. I traipse up Hindley Street but miss the cafe go too far and end up asking directions again. Upon trudging back down Hindley Street a man walking beside me felt the burning need to inform me that "See that tattoo on your neck? It needs white in it." I reply with a cheeky sniggery "Right". Normally I would have asked politely why he thought so and then bested him with my awesome knowledge and sparkling wit but on this occassion I was too pushed for time. It is now 9.37am and I have t-minus 23 minutes to locate the cafe, print my resume and turn up to my interview on time. I walk past the cafe AGAIN but stop 2 shops down to look around and finally spot it and head in.
The internet cafe confused me. The internet was so slow it took me about 3 minutes to get the internet up and working. Soon as it is, bam, email, resume, print, ta da. It cost me $5.50 for 5 minutes internet time and 2 pieces of paper. She did, however, offer me a state of the art stapler.
OK, 9.45. I quick march up Hindley Street and Rundle Mall not entirely sure where I'm going but I locate the cafe with 5 minutes to spare. I quickly compose myself, tuck my shirt in, adjust my hat and take a deep breath. Here goes.
Inside the cafe it's jumping and there are two people behind the counter. Almost every table in the cafe has people seated and they both look waaaaaay busy. I inform the guy behind the counter who I am and that I have an interview at 10 and he looks at me and then at the clock and asks me for 10 minutes. I say sure no problem and wait outside at one of the tables. I take out my book, Haruki Murakami's "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" and wait patiently. Jeffrey at this point starts shouting and demanding attention but I tell him, "No, Jeffrey this is perfect. Now we play the waiting game. The longer I sit here the more likely he will feel obliged to give me at least a trial". Reluctantly Jeffrey piped down.
After half an hour of patiently waiting I look up and he beckons me over. He asked me for a resume which I produce all shiny and new from my adorable handbag which I realise with horror is still covered in tomato juice spatters that look like vomit. He thanks me and scans it quickly and asks me to come in next week on Tuesday for a trial. YES!!! WIN!!! I have finally successfully managed to get my foot in the door!
Now all I have to do is some research on how to actually make coffee and we are sorted. My brother helpfully suggested wearing a variety of false moustaches and outfits etc and going into the cafe and observing what they do there whilst taking notes. This is a genius idea. I may enlist his help as well.
So, I have my foot in the door and the best bit is he asked me to come in Tuesday, not Monday. I still get to party on down at the Rollergirl after party on Sunday with Monday set to recovery mode. YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEESSS FRIDAY IS FULL OF WIN!!!! :D I'll keep you posted how I get on.
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