I get on it straight away furiously researching the internet for where and how I can make this happen. I stumbled upon Calypso Star Charters website and see that they are offering 1-day tours for $500. PERFECT!! They are, however, fully booked for the next few months and the earliest date I could get was Saturday 18th June. Fuck it let's go! I booked for myself and Kris to go diving and for my flatmate Noony to spectate. Now we play the waiting game.
Details can be found here
http://www.sharkcagediving.com.au/
Friday 17th June
At last the day arrives when we leave for Port Lincoln. We set off about midday for the long drive ahead, stopping off at a friends house to drop off Bronson the muttley dog. As usual he gave us all a heart attack by attempting to jump out the window to savage a guy on a bike (he hates bikes). Panic over we deposit him for his playdate with Sam and woooo we're on our way!
Kris, most pleased about imminent shark adventures
Bronson
The journey was not exactly the most scenic of routes - brown ground, some trees, green grass, more trees, couple of buildings, more brown. However, there were plenty of bizarr-o sculptures to look at in various fields along the way including a giant bug wielding a pitchfork and a tin man. Vaguely reminiscent of the Wicker Man. Oooh, and there was a double rainbow.
Honk honk!!
I've been playing about with Instagram for Iphone
I like it :)
Along the way we stopped and made a very quick detour. It had to be done.
(I actually took this pic on the way back)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowtown_murders
It was about this point in the journey that I realised how much of an idiot I am. It dawned on me that I had forgotten to pack something very important. Can you guess? I had forgotten to pack my bikini. Yes, readers. Cage-diving with great whites. No bikini. No towel either. *Facepalm. Oh well, I'll improvise and possibly steal the hotels towels.
Next stop Whyalla. This is where my flatmate grew up and he pointed out the schools he went to and the houses he lived in along the way. We made a quick stop at the shopping centre and Kris and I grabbed the worst Subway sandwiches I've ever eaten. Seriously, how hard is it to make a fucking sandwich? Anyway, we continued on with the journey. Driving during daylight was alright the view wasn't much to look at but at night all you could see was the road lit up in front of the car. They're not big on streetlights in Australia. It was a bit creepy.
We arrive at the Port Lincoln hotel about 8 in the evening. The hotel was a 4.5 star and our room had a balcony yeeeeaaah! I did not know you could get bunk beds in a hotel. After the obligatory jumping on the furniture and searching for stuff we can thieve we had tea and watched TV. Kris wanted to go to the bar but I told him no chance, not when we're going on a boat the next day. Catch some zeds.
Jeffrey relaxing after the long drive
Bunk beds!
Saturday 18th June
Had to meet the peeps in the hotel lobby at 6.10am for our transfer to the boat. Jeffrey was going off his head at this point I had to put him in his special coat to calm him down. We were the last to arrive, everyone else was already there with cups of tea and the boat was packed. After some quick introductions we quickly settle down for some breakfast. For the first hour we are happily yakking and munching away and then all of a sudden the sea got a bit choppy. I'm sitting reeling from side to side thinking it was great as my tummy flipped over and over - I even threw my hands in the air like a big kid. However, as I turned to face Kris and Noony I realised they were both green looking and very quiet. Both of them had to grab sick bags and head outside to the "sick bay". The whole journey from the harbour to where we were doing the diving took 2 and a half hours. The guys were sick the whole way there. I thought it was hilarious for the first 10 minutes and then I felt really guilty thinking I'd killed them both as the whole trip was my idea. Kris, however is the funniest guy EVER. He was sitting outside next to Noony, both of them with sick bags in hand when he turns to Noony and says "HI I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND I'M GONNA BE SICK!!!" and promptly wharfs in his bag. Quality. :)
Arrival on the boat
As we leave the harbour
Poor poor Kris. We almost ran out of sick bags
So we arrive at our destination and anchor the boat. I head outside and keek over the side . We've been there two minutes and already there are sharks circling the boat. Big fuckers as well!! The Calypso guys give us a chat about how we're gonna do the dive, safety instructions etc and start preparing the cage. They haven't even thrown any chum in the water yet and there's a massive shark hanging around. Glorious! We dive in groups of 4 so the first group gets their wetsuits on while we watch the crew try and bait the sharks. We see them swimming just under the surface and occassionally a fin would appear.
Safety instructions
Jeffrey. Blade just out of sight.
The first group are now all kitted up and ready to rock and roll and they climb into the cage. 45 minutes later they emerge with happy excited looks on their faces. Only one shark to begin with but by the time they got out another had appeared. The second group hop in and we watch. Next up, me and Kris and another 2 guys.
Getting the wetsuit on was difficult as the boat was lurching all over the shop. I managed and then put on the wetsuit bootees. We grabbed goggles from the bucket and the crew fitted us with a weight belt so we didnt float. I got to wear two on account of me being the miniscule variety. Time to get in. This was for me the only worrying/scary part of the whole day. My only concern was that I couldnt walk easily with the weight belts on and the boat was lurching and the captain was holding the cage to the boat with a rope. What if I slipped trying to get into the cage and missed? I'd have to remove 2 weight belts underwater and swim up to be pulled up. All whilst sharks are circling the cage. Terrifying idea. Those sharks are fast! Anyway, clearly I am writing a blog after the event so obviously this did not happen but the thought did cross my mind. The other two guys are already in the tank, I'm up next and then it's Kris.
Kris putting on his bootees
Ready to go!!
I manage to clatter into the tank nae bother and the captain hands me my breathing gear. I have never been scuba diving or anything so I've never used this apparatus before. I have booked Kris and I a scuba diving lesson but it keeps getting cancelled due to the weather. I dunk my head under the water and breathe through the mouthpiece but it feels like it's catching in the back of my throat and I'm not getting enough air so I panic and have to come back up. It probably took me a good five minutes to get the hang of it but once I did it was easy. When I first climbed into the tank there were no sharks to be seen. The water was incredibly clear and we could see for miles just blue blue ocean. And if you looked down you could see a big shoal of silvery fish hanging around. I watch and sure enough Kris appears behind me. He had the same initial problem as I did with the breathing malarkey but he got the hang of it quicker than I did.
Sweet now it's time for the pick-up truck of the ocean. If you have ever heard Randall narrate nature vids here's his version of the great white. It's hysterical. And spot on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUZbCu5RgBM
I didn't take my own personal camera with me as I didn't want to drop it or lose it and I had hired the special underwater camera that Calypso had. Also, the cage was actually bumpier than the boat, it rattled you about a fair bit!! We had been told to hook our feet under the floor bar and hold on to the hand rail. I figured I'd probably need a hand free to not die. For ages I fiddled with the camera as it wasn't switched on and I had no idea how to work it as it was covered in about 7 silver buttons that all looked the same. I forgot I was even holding a camera when the first sharks appeared.
I cannot describe what it is like to watch the biggest beast of a killing machine suddenly appear from very far away and advance toward you grinning. It was just like the documentaries, it was just like on TV except I was FACE TO FACE. And he was a big big fucker and covered in battle scars and looked like the embodiment of evil. I wanted him as a pet. I'd call him Stitch-face and feed him roos. Anyways, there were loads of them. We were being circled by at least two with more lurking around and below the boat. The best of it was they kept coming really really close to the cage. They also attacked the cage frequently, munching on the corners and generally showing me what they had for nibbles 5 mins previously. I guess sharks are like mosquitos, they love pirates. Lucky for me I had shark Aeroguard ie a steel fucking cage. We arsed around taking underwater pics of us and the Irish guy took a pic of me and Kris together wearing our scuba gear with a shark in the background. The 45 minutes went by so quickly, way too quickly I could have stayed down there all day gazing at the pickup trucks of the ocean. However, all too soon it was time to get back up to reality.
We surfaced and got changed into our clothes. I had to borrow a towel but luckily the Calypso crew do carry spares in case they have an idiot on board. Unfortunately there was no hot water left for a shower but we were going back to the hotel so I wasnt that bothered. I got dressed and back on deck with my camera ready to snap some more sharks in action.
Pirate <3s sharks
There were 3 more groups of people that had a shot in the cage and by the time it got to the last peeps the sharks were going nuts and went into some sort of frenzy. I seriously seriously wanted to be in the cage. For anyone who books this make sure you are in the last group of peeps - you will see the most sharks and the biggest sharks and the most frenzied fucked up blood thirsty sharks!
After the cage-diving the crew packed all the gear away, served us lunch and we happily munched all the way back to shore. The return journey was much calmer and the guys were not as sick on the way back, still not 100% but definately less green looking! We were given the opportunity to buy merchandise - t-shirts that said "I dived and survived", mugs, key-rings and stubby holders etc etc while the staff prepared the CDs of pics and the DVD of that days footage. I was impressed by the set-up they had it was like a well-oiled machine. We watched the video of the day - my favourite bit is where they ask Kris if he enjoyed himself and he answers "yeah it was fucking awesome man" to uproarious laughter from everyone on board.
Back on land and the taxi took us back to the hotel where we cleaned up and had dinner in the super swanky restaurant. The end :D
Dinner!! Tuna steak
View from the balcony of the pool and the harbour
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